Before I Sign on the Dotted Line....

Binding Contract Secure Free Image by Steve Buissinne, licensed by Pixabay

    I remember walking out of the title office after closing on my first home. It was just a condo, and 10% was already paid, so not a huge commitment. I had expected to feel excited and proud, and was completely blind-sided by the weighty heaviness in reality. I was super young and had led a very sheltered life at the time. 

     Now I know better. I don't know why I want to take on such a big project so near retirement, but I am in the business of learning. So hey, why not? My district will cover the $2000 in fees for successful completion of becoming nationally certified. Even though it's a lot of money, it's not really a determining factor. I could get more than that by just switching employers. It would, however, mean that if I started, that I would not quit -- basically it would be an all-or-nothing decision. It's a huge undertaking, requiring 3-5 years and a ton of multimedia data collection, writing and paperwork. It sounds like a graduate degree, which I had decided against after completing half the coursework. There are only two in my district of 11,600 teachers who have achieved this. The quote I'm hanging onto from one of the testimonies is that it was the best professional development she had ever taken. As a learning addict I really like the sound of that.

     But, will that be enough? Most definitely NOT. I will need a lot more than that to carry me through the eleventy thousand times when I will regret my commitment. 

     So now I have to determine if the pursuit willl be worth the price. I don't expect any monetary or positional reward, staying in Texas public schools. For me it would be purely personal. I love teaching five-year-olds too much to leave the classroom or lead adults. How much would it mean to me to achieve this?? 

     My husband has taught me that everything is an economy, even before he got his MBA. Gains in one area will come at a cost in another area. And I know that I am a very limited being. So, it's time to weigh the following:

PROS

the learning the achievement the capital I would gain with my boss the credibility I would hold with peers/families the role-modeling for my children

CONS

the time the extra work the stress of deadlines during regular life the personal time lost with family and value-modeling for my children the loss of leisure time for balance

I am currently taking a pre-candidacy course. It does provide some background, but I don't know if it will help me decide. I honestly don't know right now. Let's see how I will feel in another month . . . .